well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
