u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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