i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
