I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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