Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
