Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize