I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
