my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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