A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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