i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
