I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
