respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
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