sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
