just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize