why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize