apparently the secret to your success is patron
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Randomize
