Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
