You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
