just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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