She's JV to your varsity
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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