I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
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