See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize