Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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