my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
