Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize