Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize