So drunk, too bad you don't want this
smell my finger.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
