Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
