how can u be prego again
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
