Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
