Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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