office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
