Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Naked. naked and bneed help.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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