Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
