we have officially lost it.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He did a backflip because drugs
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