Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
