He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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