Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Why can't burritos get me drunk
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
