Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
if only i could text you this smell
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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