We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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