He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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