She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
