yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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