if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
