I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
