I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
