last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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