you guys were way drunker than both of me
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize