Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
