Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
