Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
