As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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