just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
