genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize