you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
