I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
