if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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