Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
