Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Mom said you looked used
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
