i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
