Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
