Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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