It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
This baby is an asshole
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
