This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
