My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
