Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
